(When I wrote this post a few days back, I didn’t realize it would be my 100th post! I know people usually do something special for their 100th, but nothing comes to mind at the moment. Maybe I’ll do a special 159 post or something. Anyway, here’s the original post…)
The idea of “needing someone” seems to carry a negative connotation around in our culture. Of course, sometimes a need can turn into an unhealthy dependency, which is never good. However, I feel that for the most part, needing specific people within the context of deep relationships is a good and healthy characteristic. We need our families to love and support us. Sometimes we think that if we decide to never need anyone, and we work our butts off to be independent and alone, others can never hurt us. And no, maybe they can’t, but instead we hurt ourselves. We suppress our natural need to be surrounded by and influenced by others.
I have been in relationships where one person has needed the other significantly more, and it always ends badly. And as there will never be a perfect relationship, I would say the ideal is based on a steady balance of need. We go through natural stages where we feel more independent, and where we feel more needy. A healthy relationship in homeostasis should have two people mutually needing each other. Somtimes, one may depend on the other more and at other times less. This is all good as long as both people can accept that needing someone is a great blessing.
I love needing someone. I love needing my parents and my friends and my boyfriend. They bring so much joy and challenge into my life. They support me emotionally, physically, and spiritually. And I love being needed. They often depend on me for exactly the same things, and that is perfectly fine with me.
What a blessing to care and to be cared for.