I’ve caught a lot of slack over the years, and thought it had died down until recently, when asked “are you a big dater?” I laughed as my friend chimed in with, “Oh, she’s not a dater. She’s a relationshiper.”
I’m not offended by this–in fact, I have fully accepted it. I just can’t get past a few dates without either entering into a relationship, or breaking it off. For some people, this pattern can be destructive, going from boyfriend to boyfriend without spending time focusing on yourself. For me, and for several others I am sure, this has totally different reasoning behind it. I am perfectly happy with myself: I have great relationships with my family and with God, amazing friends, a fun job with good pay, a home. I love spending time by myself, reading, shopping, relaxing, singing, crafting. I love to learn and challenge myself. But something about a healthy romantic relationship adds yet another joy to my life. It doesn’t fill any sort of void, but rather it adds to my general state of happiness.
Relationships can bring so much exuberance to a normal day. They fit with my nature. I enjoy taking care of people, cooking for people, trying to walk and grow with them, all of which come into play in a good relationship. I love having a deep and significant connection with another human. I love loving people. Of course, I love on my friends too, but there are many types of love, and it is so special to have that person who, as I’ve said a few times now, adds so much joy to my life.
My greatest challenge and goal in relationships is bringing as much joy to someone as they bring to me. Currently, I am in the most joyful and healthy relationship of my young life so far, and I love where it is going. Something I’ve learned after years of being a shameless relationshiper is to never settle for less than you deserve, and when you find someone who is so beyond good for you, and amazes you, love them the way you want to be loved. Maybe our world can learn to love each other after all.