I worry about the most un-worry-worthy things. It is absolutely ridiculous and annoying, and I know it. I am fully aware of how unreasonable my thoughts are at times, yet they continue to pierce my mind. Of course, I think men worry about a lot of the big things too, but as I am a girl, I’m looking at the girl point of view here. For starters, I worry about the things that are in the control of others–for example, others’ opinions of me or satisfaction with my work. All I can really do is be myself, and work my hardest, and either people will love it or they won’t. We always work so hard just to get recognition on a daily basis. I don’t think others’ opinions really matter in the long run. There are always going to be people who like us and people who don’t, and I think if we (I) could accept that, our lives would instantly be more peaceful.
I worry about my future–what happens if I don’t get accepted into the program, or get the job? How do I know if God is calling me to stay where I am or go somewhere new? What am I to do with my life that will truly be fulfilling? I KNOW that there is only so much I can do in my present situation. I can get things in the works –applications, hobbies, etc — but as far as my future goes, there is no way to know what will happen. So why do I, and so many other people, even bother worrying about it? If I could only TRULY trust God, I would know he’s got it under control.
And then I worry about the truly petty, daily things which might be a little more unique to us females. Boys, for example. No matter how truly content and happy I am in my relationship, I find things to worry about–am I being too pushy? annoying? blunt? Am I making too big of a deal about things? not big enough? How do I let someone know I care without going overboard? How do I let them let me know they care? It is an endless cycle that we girls talk through over and over again on a regular basis. Should I call? Why hasn’t he texted? What if he’s too busy? What if I’m too busy? What if…I’ve heard it and/or said it all at one point or another. Oh my GOODNESS girls, why do we do this?
Honestly, I think we do it because we don’t realize the importance of being happy with ourselves and letting things just BE. Realizing that most things aren’t in our control, and just giving them up to God and the universe. In looking at myself, I find that the closer I am to God and the more I am focusing on myself, my relationship with Him, and the way I treat others, the less I concern myself with these petty worries. They don’t matter. If he doesn’t call you, do your own thing. If he doesn’t like you, someone else will love you. If you’re too busy, he’ll understand, or you’ll find someone who will. It seems like heartbreak at the time (totally been there) but everything ALWAYS works itself out. And this of course applies to more than just boys–it applies to all those fruitless ideas that take hold of our hearts. Life always works itself out.
Well now that I have given myself solid reasons not to worry, you would think I could stop. But it never really ends. Sometimes it subsides, but then the demons of worry eventually creep their way back into my heart. If this happens to you, hang in there–you are not alone!! And this post has gotten way more serious than I meant it to…sorry!