I think there is a huge difference between feeling lonely and missing someone. People tend to get these two things confused, and it sends them into an emotional turmoil that can be difficult to sort out.
Being lonely is a miserable experience. And though I wish it on no one, I’m sure most people have experienced it at one time or another. The worst kind of lonely is when you are surrounded by people who love you, but yet you feel alone. My loneliest time was when I was surrounded by friends and loved ones, yet didn’t feel like anyone really knew me anymore. I had changed and become withdrawn from my usually pleasant life. I didn’t even like myself. And different people knew different parts of what I was going through, but no one knew it all, except for God. So I even cried out to Him, and felt alone. That is loneliness.
Missing someone is completely different. You can be really happy with your life–doing things you love, surrounded by good friends, and plenty of time with yourself, just enjoying beautiful days and fun hobbies. Yet if you’re missing someone, you might not feel quite yourself.
The first performance of mine that my parents ever missed was my junior year of college. It was fun, and an awesome show, but it just quite wasn’t as exciting as it would have been with them there. I missed them, even during a really great time in my life. Or when best friends or boyfriends or girlfriends are out of town, busy, or doing anything else that changes the normal dynamic. You miss talking to them, hanging out with them, laughing with them. This doesn’t mean you’re sad–you’re still talking, hanging out, and laughing with other people. But it’s just not quite the same. Sometimes I feel like you should be able to be 100% on your own, and then I feel bad if I don’t. But I’m a strong believer in relationships, and that they are necessary for a full and happy life. So when you’ve built several strong ones, and then one disappears for a while or goes through a major change, you miss it. I think this is completely normal, and probably healthy! No man is an island, after all.
I’ll leave you with one of my favorite lyrics: Thinking about the city…it’s living proof that people need to be together. –Ben Lee, Begin